What is the difference between tough love and abuse

The same ideology parents use when a kid wants a cookie before supper, a kid wants to play video games rather than do their chores, etc. They love the person but no matter how much that person whines, cries, throws a tantrum, or acts like an overgrown 2-year-old they're not getting what they want because typically what they want isn't good for them.

Example of Abuse Someone is involved with a narcissistic individual. That individual demeans, degrades, and erodes the other's confidence. That individual makes the other believe that they are "broken", that "nobody else will want them", etc.

That is an example of psychological abuse. Any behavior - psychological, physical or sexual - that makes someone else question their own worth is abusive.

It is literally that simple. Tough love exists when the power dynamic is equal. Abuse exists when one partner has power over another. Above all, tough love is predictable, and leaves you with a decision or a solution. Lets be honest. Any dimwit using the expression "tough love" these days, is really just being disingenuous about their form of abuse. There is no legal "line" between tough love and abuse, But usually the "difference" is the amount of evidence collected.

Tough love is when the person being the tough loving one is being tough because they truly believe what they are doing is going to help the one they love. Abuse is when they are doing it because they want to actually hurt the other person whether it's physically or mentally and have no intention of helping.

Abuse would be making someone feel less than they are, name calling, beating etc. Tough love is more like doing something someone won't like in this moment but will appreciate it later on. Someone who gives tough love may say harsh things to make you recall your senses but by no means will belittle or humiliate you, openly or with veiled insults.

When they don't respect your will and instead act controlling and disregarding of your autonomy then it's clearly abuse and no love at all. If a guy hit s a girl for any reason to make a point that s abuse. Exception is if she is hitting you first then defend yourself. Tough love is hard to explain, example leaving a person hooked on drugs and refuses help you tell them to get help and they don't you stand and not give in till help is sought in a rough outline.

Belgie 3. Tough love is when you tell people the truth in order to make them a better person. Abuse is when you see them becoming a better person, and you belittle their progress and efforts because you want them to remain weak and under your thumb.

JosyJosy 2. Father not saying goodjob well done etc, but when you ask "did I do it wrong? Cherokeehp opinions shared on Relationships topic. Xper 7. You switch it to an animal you love.. If you think it would hurt the animal or make it distrust you.. Owning our shortcomings is the only way we can change the intra-generational transmission of crazy-making parenting styles.

A good place to begin getting in touch with our 0wn past and become aware of the good, bad, and ugly. Most importantly, we need to stop idealizing our parents and see them for who they are — flawed and human.

In her book, For Your Own Good , she states that:. The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation. No doubt, denial is a built-in protective mechanism but we have to break through the resistances and get to those repressed experiences.

It has been my experience that once a child can understand things, you can negotiate things and elicit good behavior. Rarely, does one need to resort to tough-love measures? Be open to discourse and negotiation. Rigidity and lack of flexibility only leads to resentment resulting in delinquent behaviors. Children need emotional stability and consistency.

Be clear about boundaries and expectations. There should be no ambiguity. Most importantly, they need to feel and secure enough to discuss any matter with you Remember, how you tackle their tantrums and deal with their feelings shapes how they feel about themselves and their world. You, as a parent need to show respectful love for this life you chose to bring into the world.

Did you find this post helpful? I don't believe there is a fine line between the two. Tough love is about setting clear boundaries, holding to expectations, allowing natural consequences and not enabling destructive behavior. Emotional abuse is about power dynamics and deficiencies in the abuser. In my experience, when you find yourself crying often and can't relax in the presence of this person at all it's time to question abuse.

With tough love, you may say things that hurt, but you should keep a positive side to whatever you say. An example of tough love is: "Alright. You got dumped. You can feel sorry for yourself all day or you can try and move on. Things won't get better until you decide to make them better. Big deal. If that person meant so much to you, you shouldn't have done whatever got you dumped. They're over you.

Time to move on. You can cry about them all day or you can find another date.